AbSoLuTeLy AmAzInG!!!!!!

拼什么？？？

2011-05-23T17:33:00.003+08:00

我在拼什么在意什么最多
人群走了灯光不在场地凌乱
太多情绪显得相爱想听很难
讽刺怀疑总是很酸一路纠缠
冷眼冷语不看不管心却敏感
路灯擦亮午夜车窗像泪光闪闪
想要跟谁温暖的交谈
却只有我和孤单
早上匆匆忙忙出门时好在有灯忘了关
像谁坚持等了整夜要给我陪伴

我在拼什么在意什么最多
为了什么又累又寂寞
不怕别人误会了
就怕最在乎的人也不想懂
有些时候我会做梦
盼望回过头你在身后
温柔看我没有不快乐
没有逼我做抉择
懂我拼什么懂我最宝贝你了

人群走了灯光不在场地凌乱
太多情绪显得相爱想听很难
讽刺怀疑总是很酸一路纠缠
冷眼冷语不看不管心却敏感
路灯擦亮午夜车窗像泪光闪闪
想要跟谁温暖的交谈
却只有我和孤单
早上匆匆忙忙出门时好在有灯忘了关
像谁坚持等了整夜要给我陪伴

我在拼什么在意什么最多
为了什么又累又寂寞
不怕别人误会了
最怕最在乎的人也不想懂
有些时候我会做梦
盼望回过头你在身后
温柔看我没有不快乐
没有逼我做抉择
懂我拼什么懂我最宝贝你了
懂你让我多痛

living life as if its was ur last day is BULL***T????

2011-04-28T16:09:00.002+08:00

chanced upon an article written by one of my management associates who is also a mentor of mine, he talked abt this thing abt living life as if it was ur last day, how he will spend it, some funny parts i remembered is this i try to recap here as i am @work now and cant get the actual arcticle,

"perhaps i'll first take a loan with huge over draft of over millions(hey!limited liabilty upon death right??)gather all my family, friends and close ones and treat them to a good dinner, drive a lamborghini along orchard with the sun roof open and start throwing notes of $2 which i changed at the bank to see the rushing crowd behind as i drive past, enjoying every moment until the time comes at night to await for my final moment....the next thing i know my alarm sounds me up time to go to work, hey wait! i am supposed to be dead why do i have to go to work?yesterday was my last day!

Great!

now i have to drag my body to work as usual but with the fact that i had millions of debts to banks to repay,

heres the catch perhaps its not really the right way to say living life as if it's ur last day, how abt living life by giving your best as if it was your last day??"

when this mentor of mine wrote this article, it struck back to me a death envision i used to have thinking about how it'll be like in the last moments of my life in my deathbed, will i rest in the bed of a hospital or back in my home with my close ones? it send shivers down my spine whenever i think abt this and looking around the same time thinking how some things will outlive me and go on for generations....

LIVE LIFE TO THE FULLEST!AND LIVE LIFE PUTTING IN UR BEST AS IF IT WAS YOUR LAST DAY!

2011 in this year might be a chance to really change things, with all the regional expansion plans and the revolution we are creating, to all my fellow leaders and team members how ur life is going to be this year depends on how we fight back this time, lets give it all to make WLPL to grow and eventually outgrow SS21!

remember!

LIFE IS A SUM OF ALL YOUR CHOICES, WHAT U CHOSE YESTERDAY DETERMINES WHAT YOU HAVE TODAY, WHAT YOU ARE TOMORROW DEPENDS ON HOW U LIVE TODAY!

have you seen....

2010-11-18T12:27:00.002+08:00

My childhood?
=============

Had the chance recently to actually look back into my younger days photo when i was from a toddler until kindergarten, saw and remember alot of things in those days when i still lived in toa payoh, my mom will always return home from work around 10 and with the overhead right in front of our 9th storey HDB i will always run out to wave to my mom whenever she returned from work crossing the bridge, the old pasir ris which is now what everyone called downtown east where it used to have this big amusment park with the bumper car being very popular and always having long queue that time.

Saw pictures when i still had to attend day childcare centre, being taken to pasir park to play, the celebration in the community centre which, when i last went back seems to be so much smaller than i remembered perhaps due to the fact that i am much bigger now?

My Teenage years?
===============

Was trying to look for songs to listen while doing my work on the net when i suddenly thought of looking for old songs from the cartoon Ranma 1/2 which i remember i was so into when i was still staying in bishan with my group of friends, then went home to flip through my cds as i remembered i still had one disc which i borrow from my friend and till today never returned :p, as a matter of fact i am listening to it now as i am typing this blog article, brings back memories of the time when i spent most of my time at my friends house where almost every night we would gather to watch ranma, sailormoon, play mahjong, blind catch or playstation 1 in the house.....days which i had almost enjoyed fully everyday and everynight from 8pm- 10....11....12.....1am....2am...hahaha keeps getting later but till when i moved over to hougang in sec2 i no longer had much chance to really enjoyed all this anymore.....really missed the days where we can just enjoyed as kids....things were much simpler those days but gone.......things have change good and bad....

we all know once time has passed it cant be turned back....but dont u wish that sometimes there was a time machine where u can go back into the past....not change anything but to reminisce....haha

Lose yourself....

2010-06-25T19:39:00.002+08:00

25th june 2010........ turned a memorable day for me.....its the day i got a few things to remember....4th month....losing myself once again from my bad temper.....

something i thought i forgotten.....or something which i thought i can keep it from everyone and be a happy-go-lucky character but its sad no matter how hard one try to hide his bad self....he can never lose it away from himself....it follows with u a whole life time.....

when things turn bad....i understand that 硬碰硬 will always hurt everyone....but sad to say...my mental is not strong enough to handle such kind of things....i thought i had it...but guess today i was proved wrong by myself.....no other ppl den myself.....

its a terrible feeling which i have not felt for almost years....the aftermath feeling of depression and anger and regret of wat just happened....

true i dun have time to be feeling XJ now....but times are when sometime u really wish there is some place to fall back to....but u know u cant fall and have to look strong on the outside....

i miss the days where i was playing basketball to vent my frustrations and anger on.....hmm....dunno why suddenly pop into my mind.....

time to move and fight........

伤痕累累

2010-04-03T11:42:00.003+08:00

我的天空多么的清新
透明的承诺是过去的空气
牵着我的手
是你但你的笑容
却看不清

是否一颗星星变了心
从前的愿望也全都被抛弃
最近我无法呼吸
连自己的影子都想逃避(逃避)

BABY 你就是我的唯一
两个世界都变形
回去谈何容易
确定你就是我的唯一
独自对着电话说我爱你
我真的爱你
BABY 我已不能多爱你一些

其实早已超过了爱的极限

dear, sorry this few days my temper so bad esp on friday night,

i feel very bad than usual that night,

i am sorry, and like u said too much might sound sick but still, DEAR I LOVE YOU

这是一个开始。。。。

2010-03-25T12:57:00.008+08:00

今天是250310。。。。九个月后的今天又会是圣诞节了。。。从今天到那天会是一段很漫长的路。。。这一个月里。。。

快乐了，就微笑。。。

摔破了，拾回来了。。。

使性子，被宠了。。。

撒骄了，虽然不明显但。。。是可爱的

生气了，包容了。。。。。

寂寞了，一句想念说了不知几次。。。

高兴了，就哈哈大笑。。。。

感动了，就拥抱。。。。

为了彼此的事情，牺牲了多少时间，难免有些误解于不快乐。。。

但最终还是。。。。爱着对方。。。走在沙滩上的脚印现在已经不是一双了。。。而是两双。。。。

黄玉娴谢谢你所给我的一切，HAPPY ONE MONTH ANNIVESARY,

I LOVE YOU!我爱你！

幸福的开始

2010-03-16T15:49:00.003+08:00

我还在寻找一个依靠和一个拥抱
谁替我祈祷替我烦恼
为我生气为我闹
幸福开始有预兆
缘分让我们慢慢紧靠
然后孤单被吞没了
无聊变得有话聊有变化了
小酒窝长睫毛是你最美的记号
我每天睡不着想念你的微笑
你不知道你对我多么重要
有了你生命完整的刚好
小酒窝长睫毛迷人的无可救药
我放慢了步调感觉像是喝醉了
终于找到心有灵犀的美好
一辈子暖暖的好
我永远爱你到老

幸福开始有预兆
缘分让我们慢慢紧靠
然后孤单被吞没了
无聊变得有话聊有变化了
小酒窝长睫毛是你最美的记号
我每天睡不着想念你的微笑
你不知道你对我多么重要
有了你生命完整的刚好
小酒窝长睫毛迷人的无可救药
我放慢了步调感觉像是喝醉了
终于找到心有灵犀的美好
一辈子暖暖的好
我永远爱你到老
小酒窝长睫毛迷人的无可救药
我放慢了步调感觉像是喝醉了
终于找到心有灵犀的美好
一辈子暖暖的好
我永远爱你到老

looking forward to getting our couple ring

it also mark a significant of our togetherness

I LOVE YOU FION!

不单行的爱

2010-02-23T15:46:00.005+08:00

是否想过自己能找到自己的永恒？？

每个人都一只在等待着那一个人的出现。。。。。

但是，当那个人出现了，又有多少人能真正的留住那个人在身边？？？？

了解过痛的人，在遇见幸福的时候，会把握一切的不让痛，有一丝的机会再回到。。。。

找不到人说心里的寂寞
找不到人懂怕黑的折磨
找不到命中注定
在一起的那个人
很多人都像我
一个人过生活
爱只有简单笔画
却比想象复杂
恨安定爱变化
我爱过几个人
也被爱过几遍却
还是没能将幸福留下
爱是不可数的吗
为何我还相信
它不是独行侠
我在等一个人
在等我的永恒
告诉我爱不单行别害怕
用不完身边
泛滥的自由
开始怕孤单
是一种诅咒
羡慕我能飞的人
为何在天黑以后
还是宁愿回到
爱情那个枷锁
爱只有简单笔画
却比想象复杂
恨安定爱变化
我爱过几个人
也被爱过几遍却
还是没能将幸福留下
爱是不可数的吗
为何我还相信
它不是独行侠
我在等一个人
在等我的永恒

告诉我爱不单行相信它

fwyh你是我快乐的原因

2009-12-29T13:43:00.002+08:00

The 72 STOREY COUPLE
====================

There was once this couple, who became rich overnight due to a lottery strike, delighted by the sudden fortune they decided it was time to move to a better place to stay, so here they are deciding whether to get a terraced or a penthouse....the wife wanted a terraced while the husband wanted a penthouse, they were arguing over which to take until a fren told them about this new condo posh enough and with a penthouse called "The Sail" about to be ready in 6 mths, so off they went to view the showhouse.

Immediately the both of them fell in love with the penthouse on the 72nd floor and on the same day they did a downpayment for the house and went home eagerly to wait for good news for the condo to be ready.
After about 6 mths they still haven heard news yet so they decided to call and check on the status of their condo, it has been delayed for another 3 mths, but the couple thought that since we already waited for 6 mths, wat is another 3 mths more......and FINALLY the day arrived they received the call that the condo is ready and excitedly being the superstitious chinese they went to buy pails, cloths, mop and some food to clean up their new residence...

Upon reaching the place, they immediately went to collect their keys and was about to go take the lift up to the 72nd floor where the penthouse is, they realised there was a sign saying "OUT OF ORDER" hanging right in front of the lift...damn were they demoralised but beeing more motivated by seeing the new condo, the husband managed to persuade the wife to climb the stairs all the way up 72 storeys by promising to take her to a all expense paid shopping spree in bangkok!

on reaching the 10th floor they were still very hyper and motivated to go upwards, 20th floor wife starts to complain saying perhaps its abit silly to climb up, but the husband still very motivated to see the penthouse once again starts to persuade the wife, this time increasing the benefits of going paris for shopping spree plus $10k to to keep for her own, on hearing this the wife thinks that its very worth it so she continue to start climbing the stairs again but still abit weary......

On reaching the 30th floor she starts to grumble again saying that no matter wat now she will not continue to climb the stairs again! but this time the husband starting to get abit tired liao got a bit demoralised too, but looking back down they are already halfway through upwards and to move upwards or back downwards sound equally not worth it, so he once again put his persuasive skills into action saying to go europe for a whole month as a reward for climbing the stairs,and this time they both decided to leave the pails and stuff lightening their weight and to move easier upwards thinking to come back another day when the lift is up,
by the 40th floor the wife starts to become like a fly-near-ur-ear keep mumbling, grumbling and whining on why in the first place she agreed to climb the stairs, the husband on being the patience side tolerated the
mumbling whining grumbling and climb climb climb....up the stairs.....

on the 50th floor, things got out of hand the wife from a fly-near-ur-ear became a tigress! she started shouting "this is tiring! i shouldnt had listened to ur stupid suggestion to climb the stairs up, it is all ur fault that we are now in such a miserable state!"the husband not able to tolerate any longer finally broke his silence and shouted back at the wife "ME?!?!?!, YOU COULD HAD SAY NO FIRMLY WHEN I SUGGESTED CLIMBING UP THE STAIRS!!YOU ALSO READILY AGREED TO CLIMB WHEN I FIRST SUGGESTED AND NOW YOU ARE BLAMING ME FOR EVERYTHING?!?!!?".......with that they started quarreling and shouting at each other as they keep moving up the stairs all the way till the 62nd storey the husband suddenly stopped and finally said "quiet! look! its already the 62nd floor lets stop all the shouting and conserve all our energy for the last 10 storeys alright?"

Tired and weary from the climbing and shouting the wife agreed in peace and slowly they started climbing the stairs in silence once again, all the way up not one word was spoken, the only sounds were breathing and footsteps heard..........finally after all the climbing they finally reached the 72nd storey the couple were so happy they start to hug and shake each other in joy walking up to the front door of their beautiful residence this moment both of them turned to each other and said..................................................

"OPEN THE DOOR, I THOUGHT U HAD tHE KEYS?"
the keys were left in the pails on the 30th floor.....

============================================
Linked to our lives it is just like this story
the 0-20th storeys were the first 20 yrs of our lives.....young, highly motivated, ever ready to see the world.....

the 20-30th storeys pictured the lives where realism starts to set into our lives showing that not everyone can achieve the dreams we always dreamed when young thus at the age of 30 most ppl just like the couple not able to move forwards and backwards at that point,putting down their pails and stuff; most of us choose to let go of the dreams and continue with whatever we have going HOPING one day we have a chance to go back to pick up what we left off.....

the 40-50th storeys- working suffering in silence just to keep ownself living for the sake of living.....

the 50th-60th storeys- spent most of the time regretting on the things he/she could have done in the age of 20 to 30 years old which they had not, saying things like "had i last time did this", "how i wished i had", "what if i had done this my life would have been different" realising FINALLY THAT THEY HAD LEFT THEIR DREAMS, GOALS, AMBITIONS BACK IN THAT AGE! but theres no chance to turn back in life!

the last 60-70th.....working quietly in silence for the REMAINING OF THEIR LIVES....the more fortunate ones by the age 65 would have already passed on....unfortunate...still slogging their lives away living FOR THE SAKE OF LIVING.....

NOW FOR U PPL/DREAMERS OF THE WORLD.....be someone dare to dream! and let no one, absolutely NO ONE to take it away from you, for DREAMS ARE THE SEEDLINGS OF REALITY....if u dare to dream it will come true and i believe most of us have already seen the testimonials once more than enough to make us take actions....

mixed emotions...

2009-10-20T14:18:00.002+08:00

show me someone that made no mistakes, i will show u someone who have no achievements.......

somethings are just.....Thought I couldn't live without you It's gonna hurt when it heals too....impossible......

你要的陪伴我没办法给，我需要的体谅你不会.......But you’re just a boy,You don’t understand,Yeah you don’t understand,How it feels to love a girl someday,You wish you were a better man 我们就这样交会然后错过了.......

massive activities create massive results, what is your desire in life???

how much more are u willing to sacrifice for your future.........

"dun say till......." See somehow I can't forget you After all that we've been through "that i really like you".....if i were a boy.....

hei se hui oosh!!!!.............thanks bro...........thanks sisters in....................thats why we are here together to achieve our dreams..................

it'll will all get better in time..................."mama, second day pain leh....."

no time for.................u........for them...........for now..................

I think I could understand How it feels to love a girl I swear I’d be a better man. I’d listen to her Cause I know how it hurts..................

NOW IS NOT THE TIME TO GET EMO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

你终于还是离开了我的身边，跟你的每个回忆我会好好收藏的：我爱你

who am i not to be?

2009-08-31T11:48:00.001+08:00

something which i heard and read recently keep ringing in my mind

just to share with everyone......

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? "

你终于还是离开了我的身边，跟你的每个回忆我会好好收藏的：我爱你

UPDATE UPDATE!!!

2009-07-09T11:42:00.003+08:00

long time since i last blog anyway i think no one read haha....starting to get lazy also on blogging this is bad...must change....i cant change the enviroment to suit me...can only change myself to suit the enviroment....

feels like the recent yrs pass very fast...just a blink its already july liao...more den half a year gone just like that....alot has happened during this time...

from jan till mid feb, things which i had already put behind and dun wish to say much abt it....both of us is leading our own lives now..i wish she'll be happier now....good luck to her future

march till now....finally started my touring trips up north....hope that can join for the 3-nations ride next year...doing all the necessary preparations and getting as much experience i can now for the trips...next few destinations-->pasir gudang, meleka, lake sini, lake kenyir, kl, genting...lol so many places...will take as much photos as i can...the previous trips are all on my face book profile ppl....sorry but u guyz have to go there see since i lazy to re-upload here hehe...heres the link--> http://www.facebook.com/album.php?id=596059362&aid=109703#/album.php?aid=109703&id=596059362

there are still photos for durian and beach trip which i haven upload yet will do it asap...
am glad that i have buddies who i can trust on the road...though we holland a few times but least all are matured and sensible enough on road not to be doing anything stupid....thanks guyz cheers!!

heard a song recently...it says about this couple together...but the girl always tell the guy that he is perfect and that he deserves someone better and not her....haha...i bet this is quite a familiar sentence to alot of couples out there...the song stated that because of the girl saying the guy is too perfect..it has in turn become something of an inperfection...so does it means if the guy is imperfect then she will stay with him because of herself imperfection feeling?i have given great thoughts to this saying.....if this way the girl keeps thinking this way will she ever get married and be together forever???because it will be absurd if she says she found the perfect man for her...isnt that contradicting wat she said to the guy that left because she says he is too perfect????so perhaps this really proves to the fact that "nan男 ren人 bu不 huai坏, nu女 ren人 bu不 ai爱" ma???

this song is called "bu wan mei不完美 by li jiu zhe李玖哲"

SO IN THE END.....wat is perfection???

你终于还是离开了我的身边，跟你的每个回忆我会好好收藏的：我爱你

songs?......songs!

2009-05-05T12:50:00.003+08:00

saw her blog.....she posted a song saying "quite into this song"........its a song which i sent to her last time....she didnt understand it that time.....now i dunno she listen she understand anot....even if she did so wat?!!?its all been damaged.....

why only now and not abit more earlier????.....

i am currently listening to leslie cheung's "zhui"...... a little lyrics here.....the song is in cantonese

like a few lines of the songs..... 成功了败了也完全无重要"success or failure without u sharing its pointless", 追踪一些生活最基本需要原来早不缺少"looking for something impt which was there all along", 只得你会叫我彷佛人群里最重要有了你即使沈睡了也在笑 "only u let me feel impt within the crowd, with u ard i'll be smiling even while asleep"......

这一生也在进取　
这分钟却挂念谁
我会说是唯独你不可失去
好风光似幻似虚　
谁明人生乐趣　
我会说为情为爱仍然是对
谁比你重要
成功了败了也完全无重要　
谁比你重要　
狂风与暴雨都因你燃烧　
一追再追
只想追赶生命里一分一秒　
原来多麽可笑　
你是真正目标　
一追再追
追踪一些生活最基本需要　
原来早不缺少　
HA......　
有了你即使平凡却最重要
好光阴纵没太多一分钟又如何　
会与你共同渡过都不枉过
疯恋多错误更多　
如能从新做过　
我会说愿能为你提前做错　
谁比你重要
成功了败了也完全无重要
谁比你重要
狂风与暴雨都因你燃烧
一追再追
只想追赶生命里一分一秒
原来多麽可笑
你是真正目标
一追再追
追踪一些生活最基本需要
原来早不缺少
HA......
有了你即使平凡却最重要
一追再追
只想追赶生命里一分一秒　
原来多麽可笑　
你是真正目标　
一追再追
追踪一些生活最基本需要　
原来早不缺少
H A......　
只得你会叫我彷佛人群里最重要
有了你即使沈睡了
也在笑

giving up........

2009-04-29T14:31:00.002+08:00

much has happened after wat i posted previously......the response i got was totally not something i expected.....perhaps its myself for being such an A-HOLE writing the wrong stuff......i dunno.....

no matter wat i write or say it can nvr please everyone or anyone....i have nvr been able to do that....not even now....cause i am someone not very good with words....i am not trying to gain sympathy or anything here....this has been a place where i can always let out my feelings of frustration....happiness.....sadness.....so perhaps this is the only place where i can write without a care for wat the whole world happened outside......here is only abt me....

lots of thoughts going through me right now....work.....life....family.....friends.....love.......i have sacrificed alot....for all this.....sometimes i really think izzit worth it fighting so hard???i am forever lost somewhere in space with questions, conflicts, problem, more problems.........why cant i be born in a better well off family.....not that i am saying i mind my parents its just a thought...i love both of my parents alot....

frm my mentor i've learnt alot...."if not having a regretful past, how to know wat is a good future", i am someone who always in my mind feels regretful of things i haven or not being able to do due to my limits...i wish i can do this, i wish i can do that, how i wish i have the ability to help her more, how to make someone love u more or be able to let the person see wat u are trying to actually show to that person or anyone.......but thinking sometimes....so wat if they understand....are things gonna change?perhaps yes....perhaps no.....in my cases....mostly no......things nvr change......they remain the same....the result is always the same.....conclusion???------I ALWAYS SCREW UP

even till today.....i can speak well....i can converse well....but sometimes using the wrong method, i screwed up.....but hey!who doesnt make mistakes? nobodys perfect.....if there is this perfect person.......i dun think there even exist such a person......

take a bow....

2009-04-25T09:57:00.001+08:00

achieved wat i been trying to do....

with "that" i am gone....

time to take a bow....

and say good bye........

past is past

2009-04-22T12:43:00.005+08:00

once, there was these two monks, one old monk and a young monk who just joined the temple, they were talking a stroll until they reach this river which was about knee level high, there was no bridge, nor was there any way to cross the river other den walking in the water itself.

just den a beautiful young lady with a long dress appeared, not wanting to become a wet duck herself as she is attending a high class dinner soon she asked politely whether any of the monks can carry her across the river, but u see monks are not suppose to touch the opposite sex at all, just when the young monk was contemplating the old monk said,

"let me carry u across"

with that they proceeded on with the monk carrying her like how one carry ur lover, and across the river they go....once past the river the monk let her down gently and with that the young lady saying her thanks she went her way and the monks carried on with their walking.....all the while from the moment the old monk volunteered to carry, the young monk was thinking

"how can he carry her?!?!he is breaking the rules as a monk, even if so is let me young strong man carry ma, sides she is pretty!"

with that he held that thought for the last 5 hrs going through that thought over and over and over again....finally halfway through he could'nt bear it anymore and said in a very angry manner

"how can u carry that lady just now???u know its not right!i am the more young one i shld be carrying!"

the old monk turned around and simply said

"its been 5 hrs already and u still carry the lady, while i already put her down 5 hrs ago already :)"
_____________
to whom is reading this, u know who u are

(re-edited as it cause some misunderstanding)

let me put it simply.....leave the past behind and look forward ba.....

i didnt know anything cause u

changed ur blog, kailin nvr tell me

she dunno whether u wan me to know

about ur blog changed

你终于还是离开了我的身边，跟你的每个回忆我会好好收藏的：我爱你

any takers?

2009-04-06T10:15:00.002+08:00

lets get drunk over the weekend!!!!

anyone wanna go???

any takers?????

hahahaha..............

enjoy wats left in this life........

你终于还是离开了我的身边，跟你的每个回忆我会好好收藏的：我爱你

no one will know how much i hide inside

with me....all the pain, sadness, agony

of u not by my side anymore....i am just

lying to myself.....and everyone

fighting it up....

2009-03-16T14:16:00.002+08:00

fighting for my future everyday......

fighting for my love........

fighting for watever thats left in me.........

WAT ABOUT YOU?

WAT ARE YOU FIGHTING FOR?????

你终于还是离开了我的身边，跟你的每个回忆我会好好收藏的：我爱你

sleepless....

2009-03-08T16:51:00.002+08:00

been almost losing sleep every night........

so tired.....but cant sleep......

perhaps it telling me to go catch the sunrise......

either that....if not its me missing something or someone...........

你终于还是离开了我的身边，跟你的每个回忆我会好好收藏的：我爱你

colours....i thought i'll nvr see again

2009-02-27T23:46:00.002+08:00

u came in when my world was in grey.....

u gave it colour......

it was bright and beautiful just like a rainbow....

but then u left again......

my life once again faded to grey.......

i dunno u still read my blog anot......

i still miss u......but i dun wan to disturb ur flow....

so i'll just "disappear".......

SORRY

你终于还是离开了我的身边，跟你的每个回忆我会好好收藏的：我爱你

2009-02-24T02:59:00.002+08:00

爱情是一道伤口
ai qing shi yi dao shang kou
\
我们各自苦痛
wo men ge zi ku tong

沉默是我最後温柔
chen mo shi wo zui hou wen rou

是因为我太爱你
shi ying wei wo tai ai ni

你终于还是离开了我的身边，跟你的每个回忆我会好好收藏的：我爱你

Why u so eager for me to forget?

why u will feel confused?

to begin....

2009-02-22T20:23:00.002+08:00

To begin all over again.....izzit really that hard????

to be clinging onto the past....its painful.......

to forget wat was once beautiful and memorable........its hard.....

to be forced to hate......its cruel.......

frustrations......feels like an empty shell walking about when i am not busy....late at night always start to miss....the helplessness.....the feeling when u know u gonna lose something but cant do anything about it comes again.....很无奈.......can only clench my fist...and slowly let it pass by.....

wat should i do.....i feel so useless at this point of time......no one in my family or my friends noe wat happen......i didnt tell them anything......i cant talk to anyone about it.....

i walk alone.........once again.......

你终于还是离开了我的身边，跟你的每个回忆我会好好收藏的：我爱你

one song.....

2009-02-21T13:11:00.003+08:00

one songs describes it all.......

谢谢你如此温柔　
捧着爱情静静等候
我的双手　
其实同样在颤抖
但我能给你什么　
我只是一个他遗忘的我　
心被一扫而空
我会把你种在我心中　
也许某天
会终于再次长出一个梦
不知道不明了不想要
为什么我的心
明明是想靠近
却孤单到黎明
不知道不明了不想要
为什么我的心
那爱情的绮丽　
总是在孤单里　
再把我的最好的爱给你
谢谢你如此温柔　
点着笑容的灯火　
只温暖而不打扰我的寒冬
还没决定往哪走　
才所以不能答应你陪我
怕你会变成我　
我会把你种在我心中
也许某天会终于再次长出一个梦
不知道不明了不想要
为什么我的心明明是想靠近
却孤单到黎明
不知道不明了不想要
为什么我的心
那爱情的绮丽
总是在孤单里　
再把我的最好的爱给你
不知道不明了不想要
为什么我的心
明明是想靠近　
却孤单到黎明
不知道不明了不想要
为什么我的心
那爱情的绮丽总是在孤单里
再把我的最好的爱给你
谢谢你如此温柔
点着笑容的灯火　
只温暖而不打扰我的寒冬
还没决定往哪走　
才所以不能答应你陪我　
怕你会变成我

你终于还是离开了我的身边，跟你的每个回忆我会好好收藏的：我爱你

one song...will do...describe it all....

but i doubt u'll understand

as u dun understand chinese well

blanko blanko mind.....

2009-02-20T14:16:00.002+08:00

compiling memories nowadays..............will not blog much........doing my own preparation.......

hoping for better days but hard......its gonna be hard from here on..............

你终于还是离开了我的身边，跟你的每个回忆我会好好收藏的：我爱你

WHY ONLY ME?!?!?!?

2009-02-17T17:24:00.003+08:00

unlucky!!!
Originally uploaded by guang u

OF ALL THINGS....WHY ONLY BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO ME?!!?!?!?!??AINT THINGS BAD ENOUGH NOW?!?!?!?OH WOAH!!!SO GUESS NEXT I HAVE TO BE CAREFUL OF ACCIDENTS.......FUCK THIS WORLD!!!!! FUCK THE PERSON WHO KNOCKED MY BIKE DOWN!!I HOPE U ACCIDENT SOON YOURSELF!!!!

你终于还是离开了我的身边，跟你的每个回忆我会好好收藏的：我爱你

time

2009-02-12T18:17:00.006+08:00

everyone has been telling me......time will heal itself.....but wat they do not know...sometimes...time will only make the missing more deep....

时间会冲淡一切，
但有时，
时间只会让思念更加深刻

time...has a different effect to different ppl.......

time sometime really help ppl to forget......it sometimes help to prove ppl wrong.....it sometimes allow both ppl to understand more of each other.....but yet sometimes short enough to prove someone the decision wrong...it doesnt stop for u....neither it moves for u.....i keeps going with a agenda of its own.....
to let you know.....life is ticking away......cherish it with all u have......live to the fullest....live with no regrets, hate, sorrow......

but yet...ppl still seem to be this way...regretting had i done this would this have happen.....hating the person who oppose u at work, study or maybe in ur daily life.......sorrowing at the love or closed one that left you.....

it a very sneaky fellow.....it passes very slow when u are counting it....but the moment u stop counting the time, it just seem to run past u very fast.......

so.....how is time to you???

getting happier day by day???to some ppl like a few of my friends they are.....

getting sadder????a friend of mine just broke off with her bf of 3 yrs.......

or perhaps one day realised that without that person beside you......u feel something is missing and no one can replace that missing part???
only to realise its importance after u have lost it..........

http://www.samuelgoh.net/love/ai_ni_shi_ge_cuo_v1_v1.htm <-- For you.....

你终于还是离开了我的身边，跟你的每个回忆我会好好收藏的：我爱你

Rain....

2009-02-11T17:44:00.002+08:00

RAIN.....after so long it finally rained today.....felt as if its crying with me......my mind is totally filled up with memories of her still....the time we spent together....the time she knock my helmet while riding....the time we would take walks at labrador.....how she would use to tickle me....our first movie together which i still keep the stubs.....the night at the penjuru reservoir where she finally said "i love you"to me.........

i guess those are gone....its just short story.....ended...so sharply and suddenly.....i tried to stop it....but thats only how much i can do....the pair of hands...one finally decided to stop clapping.....the two sets of footprints in the sand...now back to just one...mine alone again.....

wanted to give her a little surprise for v'day today cause knowing i cant see her on this sat.....but i guess i cant do that anymore....guess i'll just keep wat i bought for her infinitely.....

i cant keep her company at work anymore.....we used to chat the whole day till she finish work worrying she find time slow......i really miss the time every morning looking forward to checking my hp or email for her messages......but now my phone doesnt ring anymore in the morning.....its silent......

i really miss her........

i really do........

no one can help..........

no one........

你终于还是离开了我的身边，跟你的每个回忆我会好好收藏的：我爱你

definition....

2009-02-10T18:04:00.003+08:00

i once told a fren...if the frenship is easy to get, it will be easy to be broken also, nothing is easy is this world....i forgot....i totally forgot......it applies in relationship as well.....if a chance is easily given, it will also be easily ended....swift and decisive.....and normally once this chance is gone.....one must understand it will be almost impossible for one to get it again....thats why we are taught to grab every chance with all ur might when it appears not knowing will this be the one and only chance OR will it ever come again....den u try to cherish it..only to know it will leave eventually sooner or later because this chance landed wrongly.....but think carefully...theres no wrong or right chance....its given with all possibilities of good or bad outcome....its how u make use of this chance to make sure its a good outcome....but not all things will go your way...

not all things.....somethings.....u can nvr change the way it is..........

你终于还是离开了我的身边，跟你的每个回忆我会好好收藏的：我爱你

the 83 days u were in my life has been the greatest since 03....thank you...u let me forgotten some sad things...and at the same time given me new memories....if to give up so easily will only prove that i am just treating this half heartedly...u have to know...when the whole world turns its back on u...there will always be someone here waiting to give u everything he has....u cant cast him away for he is not solid in shape....he's like air always around u nvr forgetting....

white lies....

2009-02-10T01:27:00.004+08:00

泪水将我淹没到底谁该难过
究竟是谁放掉这段感情
我才终于明白
办不到的承诺就成了枷锁
现实中幸福永远缺货
请告诉她我不爱他
笑著难过自我惩罚
想终止这一切挣扎
狠了心说真心谎话
别告诉她我还想她
恨总比爱容易放下
当泪水堵住了胸口
就让沉默代替所有回答
我才终于明白
办不到的承诺就成了枷锁
现实中幸福永远缺货
请告诉她
我不爱他笑著难过自我惩罚
想终止这一切挣扎
狠了心说真心谎话
别告诉她我还想她
恨总比爱容易放下
当泪水堵住了胸口
就让沉默代替所有回答
我不爱我不痛我不懂
我的心早已掏空
真心话言不由衷
请告诉她我不爱他
笑著难过自我惩罚
想终止这一切挣扎
狠了心说真心谎话
别告诉她我还想她
恨总比爱容易放下
当泪水堵住了胸口就让沉默
代替所有回答
别告诉她我还想她
就让沉默代替所有回答

你终于还是离开了我的身边，跟你的每个回忆我会好好收藏的：我爱你

nothing left.....

2009-02-10T01:19:00.002+08:00

in the end....all is left is nothing........

broken once again.......

going into seclusion........

你终于还是离开了我的身边，跟你的每个回忆我会好好收藏的：我爱你

love, money?!?!......wat is it???

2009-02-08T04:48:00.006+08:00

this has been on my mind for some time....alot of things happen recently......think i'll blog it out tonight......

_______________________________________________________

some ppl have a love who they dun cherish,
some ppl have two loves and wan the best of both worlds,
some ppl is forever looking for love
some ppl has found their love and being loved back......

the one who have love.......dun see the effort made by the one loving....thus leaving both parties in a very strained emotion of arguments......when one is too eager to impress the other

the one who have two loves......has the person ever thought wat if one day one of them decides enough is enough and decided to talk to the other party about it...all hell will break loose....leaving a couple with no trust at all....and a very sad third party to suffer alone for the person has given the time and life for this love that will not have a perfect ending

the one who forever looking for love.......always trying for a chance with love but in the end always being left alone over and over again......wat if one day they find the person to be in love with...will it last?will it be hard???or will it lead to happiness.......no one knows.....ONLY TIME WILL TELL.....

the one who found love and being loved back........happiness????(^_^)

________________________________________________________

i've been told often......money is not everything.....but without money u cant get anything......

who says money cant buy back a life.....ur love one on the life support.....u have no money to foot the medical bills anymore......pull the cord and lose the love one....dun pull and cont to work hard for money to support the bills keeping the person alive.........

who says money cant buy a family back....the kind father who borrows from illegal money lender for he realise that his current job is not enough to support the whole family,wife leaves with kids thinking the husband is a gambler addict borrowing from the illegal.....had he been rich...none of this would have happen.....

who says money cant buy u time......the boss who hires ppl to work for him....each of them sacrifice their 8 hrs for him leaving him more time to go settle other issues......u have money to own a personal transport....saved will be the time from waiting for public buses, trains, taxis.....saved will be the traveling time....given 15mins per day.....one year u save 5340 mins~!now who says money cant buy time?

i can see money has already a big place in the world now affecting alot of decision....can say it isnt everything....but is also almost everything ......

Guang yu

as i was speaking to you in msn i was typing this post.....alot of mixed emotions....sad, happy, fear....my mind is blank for the both of us.....the conversation whole night has risen alot of questions in me....i fear that day to come i hope it never come......i happy u given me a chance......i sad i still cant be what u wan right now........i just wish everything now to go well....giving u the best of everything i promised u i am still trying....i thank u be so understanding to me......-->love from me to you<--guang yu

saturday!!!!

2009-01-31T19:01:00.001+08:00

woke up early today....12+ already cannot sleep liao despite the fact i slept ard 7am in the morning!wake played abit game.....slacked awhile more...changed den go out to watch "bride wars", the movie was nice hilarious.....walked ard vivo....den went to me friends to go l4d....hehe...after that home......at 8 in the morning again! lolz.....

1....

Guang yu

i am sorry for giving u the feeling i toying you...pls dun think that way

if wat happened makes u think that way...den nvm...won happen again

just wan to let u know every bit from me is true...wouldnt come all the way

here crying, chasing for you only to give up because of the same reason as

your x right?? if u dun really convinced...like i always said...let time prove

itself to u k?

LOVE YOU LOTS SHIRLEY

2009-01-30T19:32:00.002+08:00

hehe....going to hw farewell dinner now.....almost spent the whole day doing nothing at home again....going office later....

2.....

Guang yu

doing nothing

2009-01-29T19:31:00.000+08:00

spent the whole day at home doing absolutely nothing.....i dun like it....so bored....

3....

Guang yu

day3

2009-01-28T16:01:00.000+08:00

went for company lo hei in the morning...wth i reached alone the rest of the my grp ppl haven reached....went to eat alone until my mentor came....

very looking forward to meeting someone today...

we meet up around 1+ someone was late today...hehe...nvm take ur time its ok de...
went to watched "inkheart" not a bad show...how nice if really someone can read out ur story alive...i be happy to noe this silver tongue person.....haha...went walk walk around from esplanande...one fullerton...citylink.....suntec....phew....leg pain liao...after that went home liao...tired but happy today.....

4.....

Guang yu

two days in a row we met....lets me remember the time we spent last time when u go "chalet"

was very happy to watch the movie with u, sry if i made u feel boring walking so long distance with me.

dunno when will see u again but will learn to miss u more this way...if i made u feel awkward from wat i did sorry....won do it again...the ans i gave u when u ask wat if u left is true...in case u forget..."if u wanna go i let u go, having u but not ur heart is pointless, cried i already cried le, i believe, if its urs, even if u let go, she will come back to you de eventually"

I LOVE U SHIRLEY

day 2

2009-01-27T15:54:00.001+08:00

chu er.....something different this yr.....chu er i go out with my friend already.....saw my cousin clarence on the way riding out of house....surprised to find out his girlfriend stayed closed to my friend wahaha....wat a coincidence.....

met my friend at jurong pt....we went to walk around.....after that went to hw house played abit blackjack den home ard 2......watched abit tv....ard 3 den i crashed out liao....need to wake up early tomolo for company lou hei....

5.....

Guang yu

very happy to see u today...missing u very badly....

always wanted to tell u i love u face to face...finally

able to tell u today le....might be abit bored going out

with me....but i will try to find things keep u entertained de

love u lots lots shirley

day 1....

2009-01-26T15:49:00.000+08:00

da nian chu yi......same rountine....always hate my mom this day...wake me up say i am late...in the end i dressed all up liao...they still walking here and there make me wait...den after that go out late say is my fault....freak!

went to my dad's side first...was boring....this year stayed abit longer than usual...went to mom's side ard 6+......

went home ard 11+ cause dad complaining tired.....played game till 2+ donny called go played l4d....that gamer addict hahahah!!!!!until 6+ den reach home....tired lucky this year day 2 not going anywhere....

6.....

Guang yu

new year eve

2009-01-25T20:45:00.000+08:00

did nothing much today....stayed home...play game till its time to eat dinner.....eat eat eat....as usual dad saying the same thing every year....after that went to chinatown with hw,py,wyar and wy....its much more quieter this year...not like last year squeezing here and there everywhere.....

went home sleep ard 2....yawnz!!!

7....

Guang yu

2009-01-24T16:57:00.004+08:00

just woke up....think will be a very boring saturday.....tomolo will be chinese new year eve liao....not sure tonight going anywhere anot....might be going friend house to eat cause he invited us all....

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR TO EVERYONE!!!

8.....

Guang yu

i miss you alot....hehe learnt this from u the....

hope no one finds out

i love u lotz shirley

friday again

2009-01-23T16:46:00.000+08:00

somehow find time past very slow this few days.....meet ed in the afternoon...bring him go take his bike in the evening....went to MP....had supper...played lan till 7 in the morning.....yawnz!!!been sometime since i came home this early!!lolz....

9

Guang yu

rest

2009-01-22T16:44:00.000+08:00

stayed home the whole day rest at home....charging myself up.....

10....

Guang yu

home interior...

2009-01-21T16:43:00.000+08:00

went to ikea walked today looking around home interior deco....very nice their concept....wished my own home like that too....

11....

Guang yu

worst

2009-01-20T17:35:00.001+08:00

going throught the worse phase of my life now......going to get even worse....wat a way to start 2009......

12.....

Guang yu

monday blues...

2009-01-19T18:57:00.001+08:00

having monday blues......

13

Guang yu

sunday....

2009-01-18T18:44:00.002+08:00

had a bad morning....but though with a bad headache...had a very memorable evening....thanks to someone.....

14.....

Guang yu

staying home...

2009-01-17T18:38:00.000+08:00

think staying home rest today.....not much program either.....

15....

Guang yu

visits

2009-01-16T18:36:00.000+08:00

went to visit ed today...watched mamma mia at his house...it was nice....though i almost fell asleep due to tiredness at one part...haha....

16....

Guang yu

problems

2009-01-15T18:51:00.002+08:00

"Problems will not be solved just by looking at it,
instead why not look at the solutions to the problems?"

something which my mentor told me quite often....a little story nothing to do with christianity its just a strong example which hit me strong....think its taken from the show "facing the giant"

there is this person, he was a strong believer of god, he was a very faithful and loyal believer, until one day everything came crashing downn on him, wife left with kids, lost his job, wrecked his car everything was so unlucky, yet he didnt do anything about it, so one day he went to a pastor to confess about his problems, he asked "oh father! why izzit that i am so loyal to god he doesnt help me?" to which the father replied....."imagine son, there is this two farmer, during a drought season one prepares the field in waiting for the drought to be over and another just simply sit and wait till its over before he start preparing, which one do u think god will help?the one preparing or the one sit and waiting?"

it got me thinking....cannot sit and wait......

17......

Guang Yu

another day...

2009-01-14T16:21:00.001+08:00

been trying to wake up early this few days....very tiring though...yesterday go out almost stoned...thanks to someone lend me shoulder to rest i felt much better....

18....

Guang yu

lazy....

2009-01-13T16:15:00.000+08:00

starting to get lazy to blog......this is a very bad sign.....must keep going!!!

19....

Guang yu

to be

2009-01-12T19:14:00.002+08:00

to be making this decision....the consequences i already thought all about it le....u ask how they will think....i already told u liao.....its firm...its wat i believe now.....

"will u be there when i need u when the time comes?"

i might bring ed along in with me seeing as how we grown up together.....i really hope he will walk this part with me once again.....whether he wans to join anot is now entirely up to him le....u are the only one who knows everything now.....

20.....

Guang yu

someone noticed!

2009-01-11T20:24:00.000+08:00

haha....eugene u very alert ar.....haha.....least someone noticed wats going on....

today went to ikea with a fren looked around....alot of new layouts...they are nice...wish to use them as my future room layout....haha....went orchard ard 2+??phew its been some time since i go orchard on a sunday after i left LP....saw dom but didnt talked to him as he was busy rearranging cardboxes....

was a happy day today.....thanks to u know who.....hope we can find the "transparent" staircase soon......

21......

keep reading ba eugene.....u'll know wat happen soon....

Guang yu

3 types of ppl....who fail

2009-01-10T17:49:00.002+08:00

yesterday went to a talk and learnt about three types of ppl who dun usually succeed....there could be more but seems like these are the typical three......are u one of them????

1.)The Time Waster(浪费时间的人）
-->common excuse - Hard!its so hard!!!
i dunno earn so much money for wat!?!?!?
No Dreams, No Goals, cant find meaning in life,
Soul is dead at age of 20Yrs, but body only cremated at the age of 70Yrs...wasting the last 50 yrs doing nothing!

2.)The Blamers（整天埋怨的人)
-->Blame everyone, father, mother, friends, time, society, education system, everything under the sky BUT HIMSELF!

"its not my fault, he didnt do the job well!", "he's Got Talent!I dun!", "his Father is rich!Mines not!"

3.)The Believer who dun believe in himself(什麽都相信但自己的人）
-->Believe in animals, stones, Betting, wood, anything fiction.....but himself....

"i dun think i can do it", "i am not smart enough", "lets just wait for the lottery this week!", "this water can make u rich, if u wipe on ur house number three times!", "I AM STUPID!"

do take a min to think about it ppl.....hehe....gave me some thoughts over whether i am any of them...

22.....

Guang yu

small post....

2009-01-09T17:49:00.001+08:00

was looking through someone's blog today....only to realise that she has been blogging abt me.....but in very very small words.....saw only today....took me so long to find out.....lousy me....

23....

Guang yu

tick tick tick

2009-01-08T17:47:00.000+08:00

24....

.......

2009-01-07T00:54:00.000+08:00

25......

being careful

2009-01-06T17:44:00.001+08:00

u dun have to becareful with wat u say......i know the line and where i stand now.....so dun worry.......u tell me to becareful of u.....instead u should be more careful of me....

i am trying not to be careful with my words instead.....if u get wat i mean.....but i noe not to cross that line.....(^_^)

26......

Guang yu

home...

2009-01-05T22:37:00.001+08:00

Spent the whole day at home today......

a little response to "u-know-who" no need to thank me de.....i enjoy my time with u too....

dunno wat to say today......ending here....

27.....

Guang yu

another night

2009-01-04T17:28:00.002+08:00

spent another night outside last night.....went to see the red house which is locked now....that place not that scary any more now that the place is opened up on the other side not like last time with all the trees covering up....och....den bedok jetty...finaly bought mac over to labrador to eat....after that home....wasnt really that tired but someone cannot tong already....haha lousy.....

but think might be some time b4 we get to spend time like that again....was fun thank you.....wondering how it'll be had all this happened earlier....haha....but whatever now that is we are just frens only.....

hope u enjoyed my company though abit boring on some part.....

28....

Guang yu

sunrise memories....

2009-01-03T20:25:00.002+08:00

today watched my first sunrise.....it was special....because.....i dun wish to say....didnt get to really see it but was enough le.....to be able to spend time together.....was really fun....thanks for acc me go loyang ar....haha.....will have a chance to see the real thing de now that u noe where to go.....

packing my room today....dun think can finish within one night....tomolo might spend whole day finishing it up.....den will be phase two to do painting....blueeee......den will be the stars and the moon.....haha...been thiking for some time le....going to act like a child now....

partners propose to me an alternative plan today......much better den the way we been doing now.....gave me up till this weekend to give my final decision....perhaps my mind is already set in wat i wanna do le.....dun think its gonna change for now.....

29....

Guang yu

run.....

2009-01-02T17:21:00.004+08:00

heard a chinese version of this song today on one of the channel 8 show just now reminds me of this song which i heard during my secondary sch days....gave me some strength to move on that time....seems like it still has the same effect on me now....and it suits perfectly about wat i am going to do in this new 09.....not much to say...heres the lyrics below.....

the song name is "run" by collective soul

Are these times contagious
I've never been this bored before
Is this the prize I've waited for
Now with the hours passing
There's nothing left here to insure
I long to find a messenger
Have I got a long way to run
Have I got a long way to run
Yeah, I run....
Is there a cure among us
From this processed sanity
I weaken with each voice that sings
Now, in this world of purchase
I'm going to buy back memories
To awaken some old qualities
Have I got a long way to run
Have I got a long way to run
Yeah, I run....
Yeah, I run....
Have I got a long way
Have I got a long way
Have I got a long way to run
Have I got a long way to run
Yeah, I run (have I got a long way to run)
Yeah, I run (have I got a long way to run)
Yeah, I run (have I got a long way to run)
Yeah, I run (have I got a long way to run)

30.....

Guang yu

first....

2009-01-02T00:05:00.002+08:00

today went to watch my first movie alone at cine.....quite a new experience.....watched bedtime stories....pretty funny show....now i know wat it feels like watching a movie alone...its not that bad....

came over to friend house to blog for a while since my sis is home the whole day and i dun have a com to use....wish i can get my own lappy soon.....thats all for today...

31......

Guang yu

time.....

2008-12-31T16:33:00.002+08:00

its time......perhaps only one person will know wat i am doing if she remembers......

i already told my partners about my situation...last day of work is end of jan....after that u know what happen le.......

32......(^_^)

quietly..

2008-12-30T12:24:00.003+08:00

Girl....if u are reading this...i believe u have ur reasons for saying all that...watever that is i will understand de.....perhaps now u cant make any decision i dun blame u....and i dun hate u or anything......

i will still go on with my life.....with u in my heart till the day u can turn to look at me once again....when u really freedom i will be standing here waiting whether ur heart still have me anot.....the song i sent u is not for nothing it means everything i been trying to tell u.....perhaps u won understand...try asking someone else ba....cause for me now to tell u anything will only cause u more pressure and distance between us.....i dun wan to be like the malay guy who keeps telling u only to be his gf...i let u choose now just that there is no time frame for this decision.....we are friends now and i will respect that....i will not step over the line....no more hugs no more misses.....just a fren......

i am here quietly.....standing and guarding in the dark...u won even know i was here at all....

byl,HNR(u should noe wat it means),pig.......

FOR ANOTHER "S"!!!!!!

2008-12-30T10:28:00.004+08:00

6 YRS AGO I SWORE NOT TO TEAR FOR ANOTHER GIRL AGAIN........I DIDNT FAIL....CAUSE I CRIED TOTALLY.....WHY IS EVERYONE THE SAME?!?!?!DUN GIVE ME FALSE HOPE ONLY TO GIVE ME 1001 REASONS WHY WE CANT BE TOGETHER YET GIVING ME THE HAPPY MEMORIES AT THE SAME TIME!!!!!I AM SPEECHLESS NOW BY WAT U SAID GIRL!!! I AM REALLY DISAPPOINTED BY EVERYTHING......ALL U TOLD ME AND PROMISED ME IS A LIE.......IF U CANT MAKE THAT PROMISE IN THE FIRST PLACE DEN DUN DO IT......I NOE U WON SAY BECAUSE U ARE TOO KIND HEARTED LE....BUT HAVE U EVER THOUGHT THAT UR INDECISION CAUSED MORE HURT THAT WAY......

I HATE IT!!!!I HATE IT!!!!I HATE IT!!!!I HATE IT!!!!I HATE IT!!!!I HATE IT!!!!I HATE IT!!!!I HATE IT!!!!I HATE IT!!!!I HATE IT!!!!I HATE IT!!!!I HATE IT!!!!I HATE IT!!!!I HATE IT!!!!I HATE IT!!!!I HATE IT!!!!I HATE IT!!!!I HATE IT!!!!I HATE IT!!!!I HATE IT!!!!I HATE IT!!!!I HATE IT!!!!I HATE IT!!!!I HATE IT!!!!I HATE IT!!!!I HATE IT!!!!I HATE IT!!!!I HATE IT!!!!I HATE IT!!!!I HATE IT!!!!I HATE IT!!!!I HATE IT!!!!I HATE IT!!!!I HATE IT!!!!I HATE IT!!!!I HATE IT!!!!I HATE IT!!!!I HATE IT!!!!I HATE IT!!!!I HATE IT!!!!I HATE IT!!!!I HATE IT!!!!I HATE IT!!!!I HATE IT!!!!I HATE IT!!!!I HATE IT!!!!I HATE IT!!!!I HATE IT!!!!I HATE IT!!!!I HATE IT!!!!I HATE IT!!!!I HATE IT!!!!I HATE IT!!!!I HATE IT!!!!I HATE IT!!!!I HATE IT!!!!I HATE IT!!!!I HATE IT!!!!I HATE IT!!!!I HATE IT!!!!I HATE IT!!!!I HATE IT!!!!I HATE IT!!!!I HATE IT!!!!I HATE IT!!!!I HATE IT!!!!I HATE IT!!!!I HATE IT!!!!I HATE IT!!!!I HATE IT!!!!I HATE IT!!!!I HATE IT!!!!I HATE IT!!!!I HATE IT!!!!I HATE IT!!!!I HATE IT!!!!I HATE IT!!!!I HATE IT!!!!I HATE IT!!!!I HATE IT!!!!I HATE IT!!!!I HATE IT!!!!I HATE IT!!!!I HATE IT!!!!I HATE IT!!!!I HATE IT!!!!I HATE IT!!!!I HATE IT!!!!I HATE IT!!!!I HATE IT!!!!I HATE IT!!!!I HATE IT!!!!I HATE IT!!!!I HATE IT!!!!I HATE IT!!!!I HATE IT!!!!I HATE IT!!!!I HATE IT!!!!I HATE IT!!!!I HATE IT!!!!I HATE IT!!!!I HATE IT!!!!I HATE IT!!!!I HATE IT!!!!I HATE IT!!!!I HATE IT!!!!I HATE IT!!!!I HATE IT!!!!I HATE IT!!!!I HATE IT!!!!I HATE IT!!!!I HATE IT!!!!I HATE IT!!!!I HATE IT!!!!I HATE IT!!!!I HATE IT!!!!I HATE IT!!!!I HATE IT!!!!I HATE IT!!!!I HATE IT!!!!I HATE IT!!!!I HATE IT!!!!I HATE IT!!!!I HATE IT!!!!I HATE IT!!!!I HATE IT!!!!I HATE IT!!!!I HATE IT!!!!I HATE IT!!!!I HATE IT!!!!I HATE IT!!!!I HATE IT!!!!I HATE IT!!!!I HATE IT!!!!I HATE IT!!!!I HATE IT!!!!I HATE IT!!!!

decision....

2008-12-26T21:34:00.002+08:00

decided to change my blog name finally......thinking of not using that nick anymore.....09's coming time for a little change......09's a crucial year for me.....hope there will be good results.....wish me luck ppl!!!

ignorance....

2008-10-02T12:40:00.001+08:00

feels like no one wants to tell me anything.....think i just disappear from everyone...friends...family...everyone......probably that will make me feel better......just wanna disappear and no one to find me......

hangover....

2008-09-27T20:34:00.002+08:00

my first hangover......though is not totally drunk type of hangover.....still sane at the point of time...today feels like puking all the way while working....damn.....

*A LITTLE NOTE*:to who she dun know about this blog....I MISS YOU.....

Again???

2008-09-22T22:17:00.002+08:00

once again....chosen to take that step again....where will it lead to...

will it be same like last time???

will it have a perfect ending???

will it have a bad ending???

will it just fade away???

will it be just like 6 yrs back?? given and taken away from me.....

i admit...i am scared.....thats y i lost faith in "IT"

i wonder....wonder....wonder......

just perhaps it can be diff this time.....perhaps???perhaps????perhaps???

forgotten???

2008-07-09T02:42:00.002+08:00

lolz...long time never blog...at milkmedia now a company's of friend suddenly feel like blogging but dunno wat to write....nothing to write....was looking through back the previous few post felt a bit warming hehe but noe things have already moved on...shes gone from my mind i guess....busy working nowadays not much things to blog about life now like a straight line---------------------------haha....

things somehow felt different though nowadays...met up with ed and the guyz...somehow feel we have no common topics le....perhaps think cause hanging out with don and the rest.....everyones leading their own life....whatever that is jiayou to u guyz ya!

well will try to blog more if i have the chance ya....anyway guyz uploaded a new album of photos in my friendster profile free go take a look thanks for the support....

PS:i am not trying to get attention by posting photos not related to me!haha!!

limits.....

2008-02-10T01:27:00.000+08:00

how long can i keep this up.......i dunno....i'll just hang in there till i really breakdown...i noe ignorance of her presence is not the ultimate solution....but i dun wan to do that....not because i hate her...but because i too guilty to face her.....help from other ppl is really not helping much....no one noes.....been thinking about wats it like on the last few mins of my life....talked about it to hanlong...haha....thanks bro for listening to my fears....thanks to the ppl who called me when they saw the previous blog....dun worry....i am still around.....thanks for the care...

was looking through jeremy's blog a while ago.....miss him though wondering hows he doing in the afterlife....."HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR TO YOU JEREMY!!"

CANT THINK OF ANYTHING NOW......

missing _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _.......but pointless....................................................................................................... (V_V)

good night everyone....

wats this?!?!?!?!?!

2008-01-19T23:12:00.000+08:00

i didnt request to transfer........i didnt request to transfer........i didnt request to transfer........i didnt request to transfer........i didnt request to transfer........i didnt request to transfer........i didnt request to transfer........i didnt request to transfer........i didnt request to transfer........i didnt request to transfer........i didnt request to transfer........i didnt request to transfer........i didnt request to transfer........i didnt request to transfer........i didnt request to transfer........i didnt request to transfer........i didnt request to transfer........i didnt request to transfer........i didnt request to transfer........i didnt request to transfer........i didnt request to transfer........i didnt request to transfer........i didnt request to transfer........i didnt request to transfer........i didnt request to transfer........i didnt request to transfer........i didnt request to transfer........i didnt request to transfer........i didnt request to transfer........i didnt request to transfer........i didnt request to transfer........i didnt request to transfer........i didnt request to transfer........i didnt request to transfer........i didnt request to transfer........i didnt request to transfer........i didnt request to transfer........i didnt request to transfer........i didnt request to transfer........i didnt request to transfer........i didnt request to transfer........i didnt request to transfer........i didnt request to transfer........i didnt request to transfer........i didnt request to transfer........i didnt request to transfer........i didnt request to transfer........i didnt request to transfer........i didnt request to transfer........i didnt request to transfer........i didnt request to transfer........i didnt request to transfer........i didnt request to transfer........i didnt request to transfer........i didnt request to transfer........i didnt request to transfer........i didnt request to transfer........i didnt request to transfer........i didnt request to transfer........i didnt request to transfer........i didnt request to transfer........i didnt request to transfer........i didnt request to transfer........i didnt request to transfer........i didnt request to transfer........i didnt request to transfer........i didnt request to transfer........i didnt request to transfer........i didnt request to transfer........i didnt request to transfer........i didnt request to transfer........i didnt request to transfer........i didnt request to transfer........i didnt request to transfer........i didnt request to transfer........i didnt request to transfer........i didnt request to transfer........i didnt request to transfer........i didnt request to transfer........i didnt request to transfer........i didnt request to transfer........i didnt request to transfer........i didnt request to transfer........i didnt request to transfer........i didnt request to transfer........i didnt request to transfer........i didnt request to transfer........i didnt request to transfer........i didnt request to transfer........i didnt request to transfer........i didnt request to transfer........i didnt request to transfer........i didnt request to transfer........i didnt request to transfer........i didnt request to transfer........i didnt request to transfer........i didnt request to transfer........i didnt request to transfer........i didnt request to transfer........i didnt request to transfer........

Beyond Words

2008-01-12T17:59:00.000+08:00

i guess....this will be the last time i am posting under this catergory liao....too sad to be saying anything....i guess wat i wrote in my previous post really made her misunderstood wat i am trying to say...thus making her hate me so much le....i guess no matter how much i explain to her she won listen liao....think i just topped her list in the "I HATE YOU" catergory liao....

I AM REALLY REALLY SORRY.....WAT I WROTE IN MY PREVIOUS POST THE FIRST FEW LINES I REALLY DIDNT MEAN IT.....THE MEANING IN MY BLOG I ALREADY TOLD U IN THE SMSES LIAO....I ONLY WANTED YOU TO KNOW THE OVERWHELMING FEELINGS THAT I HAD FOR YOU WHICH I HAD NO PLACE TO PLACE UPON ON.....I CAN ONLY VENT IT OUT ON MY BLOG...I ALWAYS THOUGHT U'LL NVR READ MY BLOG....BUT I FINALLY KNOW THAT U DO....IN THE HARDEST WAY.....I FEEL SO AIMLESS NOW WITHOUT U....EVEN TALKING LIKE A FOOL HERE SPROUTING NONSENSE...BUT I DUN CARE LIAO....I ONLY WAN U TO UNDERSTAND WAT I AM TRYING TO SAY HERE.....THE HATE IS ONLY VERBAL IT DOESNT MEAN ANYTHING.....BUT THE LOVE IS TRUE STILL...I WILL GO TO ANYWHERE TO U NO MATTER WAT TIME, WAT PLACE...I NVR ASK WHERE U BEEN WHY U THERE EVEN THOUGH I KNOW ITS SOMEPLACE I DUN LIKE....THE WEDNESDAYS WHERE I WAN TO PICK U I EVEN SACRIFICE MY TIME TO GO BBALL WITH MY FRIENDS WHOM I PROMISED THOSE TWO NIGHTS...ALL BECAUSE I PROMISED U...THAT I'LL BE THERE FOR YOU NO MATTER WAT HAPPENS, THIS IS THE PROMISE WHICH I GAVE TO U, ONLY U AND NO ONE ELSE.....I JUST WANNA LET U KNOW....I AM STILL HERE, HERE RIGHT WHERE I AM....

but i guess i screwed up already....just like i did 5 yrs back....the only difference is this time i knew wat happened compared to sara's....but also this time the impact is surely harder than the last....she even deleted me from friendster le.....i guess its all over liao....

Too depressed......

Too empty.....

perhaps.....perhaps....goodbye world.....take care my friends......

signed,

Guang yu.......

试着让身边很吵闹
好好想念你的怀抱
某一秒我竟微笑
体会你扬起的嘴角
悲伤的呼唤
也许在跟自己比较
让你哭过是我不好
太自责话都变少
然而你还是最美好
要让你知道
做得到
不管相爱总会有一些低潮
我爱你
就应该对你越来越好
现在只想忽然把你抱得高高
看着你笑我也笑
别自寻烦恼
做得到
你说再苦也要跟我直到老
我说的
每一个承诺会说到做到
感谢你坚强勇敢
让我很骄傲
你所想要的爱我能做得到
也许在跟自己比较
让你哭过是我不好
太自责话都变少
然而你还是最美好
要让你知道
做得到
不管相爱总会有一些低潮
我爱你
就应该对你越来越好
现在只想忽然把你抱得高高
看着你笑我也笑
别自寻烦恼
做得到
你说再苦也要跟我直到老
我说的
每一个承诺会说到做到
感谢你坚强勇敢
让我很骄傲
你所想要的爱我能做得到
原谅我内心交战让你好难过
我能给你的爱没有做不到

I AM SO CONFUSED!!!!

2008-01-05T14:21:00.000+08:00

I HATE U!!!

I FUCKING HATE U!!!

I SOMEHOW REALLY FEEL LIKE I AM BEING TAKEN FOR GRANTED......

DO U ONLY THINK ABOUT ME WHEN U NEED ME???

OR AM I JUST A SUCKER CLINGING ONTO U STUBBORNLY????

PERHAPS NO MATTER HOW MUCH I DO, IT DOESNT SEEM ANYTHING SIGNIFICANT TO YOU!!

I AM JUST WASTING MY TIME!!!

ARGH!!!!!SO MUCH I WANNA PUT IN WORDS BUT DUNNO HOW !!!!!!

ALL I WANTED WAS TO ASK OF U TO TURN ARD AND LOOK AT ME!!!!BUT U NEVER, U NEVER WILL DO THAT!!!!!!

PLS!!IF I AM JUST A TOOL TO U, STOP DOING IT.

CAUSE THE REASON THAT I COME FOR U IS BECAUSE I LOVE U, AND NOT BECAUSE I AM STUPID!

HEY GIRL....I VERY TIRED LIAO.....I REALLY BREAKING DOWN LIAO.......SOMETIMES I FEEL LIKE GIVING UP....BUT SO COINCIDENTALLY EVERYTIME I MADE UP MY MIND, THERE COMES UR SMS ASKING FOR MY HELP....AND MY HEART SOFTENS AGAIN....I NVR HAD FELT THIS WAY, AND I HOPE U ARE NOT TOO BLIND TO SEE OF MY CONCERN AND CARE FOR U IS JUST AS MUCH AS THE PPL WHO U ONLY SPEAK OF......

life is so unexpecting...

2007-11-29T16:30:00.000+08:00

its is of most shocking news to hear when fren called me..
"eh...u still remember jeremy?"
"ya,from bishan park one...we same class in sec 1 ma..",
"he passed away liao...it was on the news, he is one of the missing five"
"WTF?"

and here i am today...just came back from the crematorium feeling sad greiving for the lost of this friend,

"jeremy, though we did not talk much to each other after we went different classes, the time we spent together in sec 1 going to play block catching together at sin ming court, was some of the most memrable memories we had together, remembering the
times we spent at wenyong's house playing sega, and u keep repeating jacky cheung's "wang ji ni wo zhuo bu dao", we had so much fun and laughter together that time, after graduation we totally didnt see each other neither do i had the chance to bid farewell,unexpectedly seven years later i finally heard news about u, but didnt had i expect to see u in this state, too shock beyond words to talk to u beside ur coffin...it is now in this way do i know wat to say...i hope u rest in peace in where u are right now, bless ur family, the dragonboat teammates, ur close friends, for they will be glad to noe u are in peace, rest assure they will carry on ur dreams everytime they are in any competition, u may be gone, but in everyones hearts, U ARE THERE ALWAYS, lastly to say its been glad knowing u as a friend, classmate for these years....REST IN PEACE JEREMY"

Decisions, decisions, decisions

2007-10-15T21:05:00.000+08:00

been thinking much this few days regarding her request to transfer...the day she told me she had made up her mind that she wanted to transfer, i felt sad, persuaded her not to do so...but its useless....sides i am someone in no position to stop her....so now wat i can only do is that hope she'll be happy in amk and pray that THAT PERSON won try anything funny...so as long she is happy i am happy for her, its no use holding her back if shes gonna be unhappy working here....she told us that she come look for us when she have the time.....wonder when will that be....

tried asking her out again though but yet again my timing was all wrong...her grandfather is hospitalized so it means its a off thing again, well cant blame anyone, offered to cover her shift on sunday even though i whole week didnt took any off and my 1st-in-charge was planning to put me off on that day, but guess this is the most i can do for her now....trying to be there for her, and doing my best to keep her happy....this is all i can do now, for now, and in the near future.maybe to her all this might seem like nothing in her eyes....yet it means alot to me...

Didnt have much sleep for the whole week...max only 4 hours have to wake up go work...so tired...brain not working cant think properly, stared at customer practically when she asked me for sizes haha....anyway...i will be adding a chat box in my blog here....do hope to see ya guyz chat here when u free...if response is not good maybe i just cancel it off....just trying out and see how it goes....think thats all for now....i really dunno what and how to put to words wat i wanna say for now....

For "HER":Neng Gou Gei Ni Zi You, Zhe Huo xu jiu shi wo neng gou gei ni de wen rou, wo jue ding bu yao rang ni li kai de yi yi bu she shi ni nan guo, suo yi xi wang ni hui kuai le, mo mo de shou hu zhe ni, zhe jiu shi wo xian zai neng zuo de, ran hou tian tian qi wang zhe yi tian ni hui fa xian wo de cun zai.....

Sweet days....ALL RUINED BY ONE PERSON

2007-09-29T04:39:00.000+08:00

hmmm....its been sometime since i blogged....wonder anyone still reads it...haha....this three weeks a lot has happened....Fell for someone yet no feelings returned.....FOUND OUT A TRUE SIDE OF A "FRIEND NO MORE".....i feel so betrayed!!because of ur own selfishness.....u ruined everything that i built up in that three weeks....PLEASE and dun come and tell me that u cant help it....ITS A FUKING LAME EXCUSE.....to think i treat like a bro, this is the shit u gave me?!?!!?THANKS LEH!THANKS VERY MUCH LEH!!!AND DUN COME AND ACT KE LIAN WITH ME....I DUN GIVE U A SHIT!!!

i actually dun wish to recap much of these three weeks so think only few of my close friends really noe what happen...thanks guyz for listening to my whining these few weeks....

wan apologise to "HER" for making her feel so hurt that day....to actually make u believe me...i guess its very hard and esp when u dun really noe me well.....i not sure if u still hate me like wat u smsed me that day i still be here even though if u do....perhaps i shldnt had told u wat actually happened wat u do not noe wont hurt u....but yet....its even more Fu*ked up not to tell u...but never would i thought the outcome would had become like this....I AM REALLY SORRY (v_v,)

to the one whos been helping me all the time....i really wanna say thank u alot perhaps without u i would had felt so lost man, thanks for being my ears and my eyes by scouting for news on u noe wat.esp the night when u told me bout someone's arrival which made me so mad, and for introducing me the very relaxing 8TH floor man!its really a nice getaway from the busy life below there ya...haha....looking forward to this monday fishing trip....lolz....

it seems like to actually win a person's trust its so hard....but yet to lose it can actually happen within matter of mins....true friends are really hard to find guyz...treasure them....to me...CHENG! where are you?!?!?come out man...eating wind days nowadays getting lesser with u wahaha.....sorry sidetracked abit.....i just hope now for things between the two of us can return to normal....it might seem a bit better today le...but still very unsure about tomolo..can just change back anytime...haiz...here is another reason more for me to go back into time....think i typed too much for now le...maybe see next time when i get a chance to use a com den i blog again...my sis been hogging the com so i dun have much to use le sadz

GOOD NIGHT EVERYONE!!

*for "HER": to u who ever needs someone, i'll be here and hope u'll realise me standing here waiting and waiting

Perhaps....perhaps...perhaps....

2007-04-22T18:00:00.000+08:00

"Shi Ying Wei Ceng Jing Shi Qu Guo De Na Shuang Shou, Ying Wei Hai Pa, Er Bu Gan Zai Yi Ci De Qu Yong You, Er Xuan Ze Bu Qu Zhui Xun Bai Zai Yan Qian De Ling Yi Ge Ji Hui"

"Afraid to ever lose something precious again, I rather choose not to have it only to lose it again, Giving up the chance that was placed right in front of me again, I STOPPED RUNNING AFTER IT AGAIN"

Perhaps somethings u noe they are just not meant to be....u still hold on to it with all ur might, knowing that its pointless in doing anything.....

Perhaps u see that new chance that appear right again in front of u, u choose to simply let it pass and not catch hold of that chance.....

Perhaps one day u regret that u didnt grab the chance that appear right in front of you, u wish u can go back into that time.......

Perhaps one day u come to know that that "chance" stopped in its tracks so that u can grab hold of it, but its all too late.....so very late.....

Had i did wat u requested that time, would we be together even up till now????

Had i stubbornly stopped u in running away that time, would u be happy up till now????

i feel so lost now that no one is leading my way....hand in hand we walk together finding the way through the darkness for the light, but u'll nvr know that i had already found the light the moment u appeared into my life, for because u are the one who gave me the light and will to walk on in this dark world....but u left together with the light u carried with u leaving me back in my darkness again......now that light seem to appear again but yet i choose not to see it .......i rather stay alone in this darkness where no one see me in my pathetic state.....

NO ONE........

ABSOLUTELY NO ONE................

Reality

2007-04-20T12:35:00.000+08:00

She Hui Shi Xian Shi De -> Xian Shi Shi Can Ku De

(society is realistic -> Reality is Cruel...........

Things u learnt in society.....however its against ur principals....u still have to learn....and den use it for ur own safety.......

WELCOME TO SOCIETY.............(^_^)

Long Lost Things.....New found love

2007-04-16T18:14:00.000+08:00

its been since some time since i written anything.....much has happened...found a job now thanks to andy....met a few old pri sch friends which we thought whom we totally lost contact and never thought we would be able to find them....but VOILA! one of these days someone told us that the few lost ppl found us on friendster!!!hehe.....and thus recently the gathering on 13th april though it wa friday the thirteen but nothing bad happened.....only reunions....and shock....shock as in i totally couldnt recognise phyu phyu for she had changed so much.....guess thats what they call "Nu Da Shi Ba Bian" haha......was great seeing them again....also...another pri sch friend lillian also somehow found us on friendster a few days b4 our gathering, so happened that ppl were asking any way she'll appear also....haha.....hope eventually can find the whole lot of "SSPS P6 '94" haha.....photos are posted below...
on the other hand.....thanks to andy i found a new job at Lucky plaza IPZONE....its a totally new experience for me as i had never worked in sales line b4....had a really ineteresting first week there, everyone was so friendly kinda reminded me the days i had in CHIJMES......hehe....learnt how to do "lelong" there, got alot of new clothes which is the best part so far HOHOHO!!!! made new friends, learnt new things so much more.....
think for now thats all i'll write below are the gathering photos....

the two ladies who came back to Singapore

L-R: Rapeeporn, Phyu Phyu, Jason, Weilin, Zifeng, Me, Yixiang, Boon liang

Pri Sch Gathering

2007-01-20T18:29:00.000+08:00

lolz....met up with some pri school frens yesterday...was great seeing them, esp thomas lol...we used to stayed at the same block in toa payoh quite closed frens u can say....was abit enlightened by one or two of them or maybe most of them....haha...now have the thoughts of furthering my studies, haha...guess the saying "jin zhu zhe chi, jin mo zhe hei" is very true....anyway no photos now...maybe will post them up when i have them...till then

cheers!

incident

2007-01-17T20:59:00.000+08:00

hmmm....seems like these two days keep seeing accident, somemore is like right in front of me happen one.....first yesterday was around defu area going to stop to turn right...dunno wat the van in front of me doing...didnt see the MPV in front of him stopped already...lol last min jam brake skidded and bang right into the left rear of the MPV...heng i stopped already if not lolz i also bang into the rear of the van liao...anyway the driver of the MPV was stunned haha...see him sit there still trying to get hold of wats going on b4 realising that he got knocked from the rear LOLZ.....

2nd one that i saw was today....was rather disturbing to me cause of the reaction given by the person being knocked....it happened around anchorvale rd in sengkang....was turning into one of the carparks...den saw this red toyota altis coming in the opposite direction on the other side of the road...then suddenly a person from the side of the road walked out the car had to jam brake...lucky he stopped in time only the passenger side of the mirror hit the person....den the person who got knocked it was now i realised she was mentally challenged or to put it bluntly abit retarded kind of person she juz simply after being knocked hurry walked back to the side of the road and continued walking ignoring the driver's question on whether she is alright...he seems very guilty of wat happen....but she totally ignored him....thats really sad...shld had seen the face of the person who was knocked....really hit me deeply onto how unfortunate they are....they dun even know how to defend themselves totally feelingless....anyway the driver managed to stopped her to see if she was alright...glad no one was injured...but this incident really disturbed me alot....was not able to concentrate on my work after that...

so to all my friends who got license and those who are taking....be alert when on the road cause u'll nvr know wat might happen next....sad to say i cant be an accident clean record holder, but hey its parts and parcel of riding and driving....guess this type of tings cannot be helped......

Rainy days

2007-01-17T20:57:00.000+08:00

hmmm.....days of raining today finally took a break and let the sun come out today...lolz...was really hell for me....who cares anyway....end of month and i am outta the freaking company...time for a job change!!!!

Unlucky!

2006-12-07T17:47:00.000+08:00

PUI!!!so unlucky today....skidded this afternoon when working....LEFT SIDE AGAIN SOMEMORE!!!!DAMN the driver in front happy e-brake for no reason.....BASKET!!!!Hope he knock into someone else car!!!!!!WHY?!?!?!?!haiz.....downfall in luck coming again i sense......tats why i hate chrsitmas season......always so suay during this period........lucky haven paste the new stickers yet if not fairing sure disfigured again.....ARGH!!!!

Helpless

2006-11-23T22:20:00.000+08:00

爱里行动不便
追不上你的美
脚步再快跟不上你的嘴
分开我骗了谁
想擦掉你的脸
擦不掉痛却更明显
你说你要的世界
在很远我不了解
分手就分手
别把话说得太美
我像个残废
飞不出你的世界
借不到一点安慰
为什么你拼命后退
退到了边界
结果我没了知觉
就连痛都嫌浪费
在爱里残废
非弄得伤痕累累
累到我无力再追
最怕你突然要挽回
回到了原点
原点却又像终点
然后多痛一遍
爱里行动不便
追不上你的美
脚步再快跟不上你的嘴
分开我骗了谁
想擦掉你的脸
擦不掉痛却更明显
你说你要的世界
在很远我不了解
分手就分手
别把话说得太美
我像个残废
飞不出你的世界
借不到一点安慰
为什么你拼命后退
退到了边界
结果我没了知觉
就连痛都嫌浪费
在爱里残废
非弄得伤痕累累
累到我无力再追
最怕你突然要挽回
回到了原点
原点却又像终点
然后多痛一遍
我像个残废
飞不出你的世界
借不到一点安慰
为什么你拼命后退
退到了边界
结果我没了知觉
就连痛都嫌浪费
在爱里残废
非弄得伤痕累累
累到我无力再追
最怕你突然要挽回
回到了原点
原点却又像终点
然后多痛一遍
我像个残废
在爱里残废

Silence falls

2006-11-23T22:14:00.000+08:00

hmmm.....dunno wat to write.....unable to think for the last few days.....brain is totally unused at all......its starting to become mush.....or perhaps my mind is juz filled up with someone else that it doesnt wan to accept any thinking.....wats going on?!?!?!?!

stopped!!!!

2006-11-20T18:18:00.000+08:00

lol....last night went home frm thomson...WTH all the way from thomson to hougang a total of three road blocks....wats even more amazing i got stopped on all three!!!the first checked me license,ic, insurance & HP IMEI...tats fine....second one at amk......also same.....den at near s'goon....the last one...the hell the police thought i was drinking cause they said my face was very red! wth! told them it was natural blush they said kk....den b4 i left..ta ma de!!!....one of den actually said ride safe,ur face really damn obvious u drinking....PUI!anyhow say....dun act smart lei....most of my friends who noe me noes this is a natural blush lor....keep saying i drink....so irritating.....dun believe me put me on breathalyzer lor.....

last road trip

2006-11-13T18:20:00.000+08:00

yesterday was one sad day for most of us riders.....we went to send ah seng off for cremation....though not much ppl came but it was enough..in two rows we go all the way from bedok all the way to mandai.....that was our last road trip with ah seng....

FAREWELL FOREVER AH SENG MAY UR SOUL B HAPPY IN THE OTHER WORLD I WILL NOT FORGET THE OUTING WE HAD ON 8/8/2006 U DID VERY WELL AS AN ORGANISER EVEN THOUGH THERE WERE SOME UNHAPPINESS IN THE MIDDLE BUT U STILL STAYED CALM AND COOL ABT IT, FAREWELL!

Sad news

2006-11-10T19:12:00.000+08:00

its really sad to know how ones life is so fragile......received shocking news today....one of my biker fren juz passed away on the 8th aftnoon...he is quite famous among us and perhaps all the SP riders for his unique paintwork of kyo and iori frm the KOF...but perhaps now we now longer have a chance to see him on road...

HOPE U REST WELL SENG.....GONE U MAY BE BUT U'LL BE IN OUR MEMORIES STILL AS ALWAYS......

relaxing sat

2006-11-06T21:22:00.000+08:00

wow...so many days nvr write....i mean type...wahahaha....over the weekend...was quite happy...met up with old frens...lol...in my phone i put their name as "zhao yun" and "diao chan" wahahaha i noe its LAME......(-_-)....anyway...one of them going overseas for exercise soon so its kinds like to bid him safe journey....went to eat at sunshine plaza the very famous "zha wanton noodles" after that we went to carrefour to walk walk.....was interesting thanks to "zhao yun" he use to crack alot of stupid stuff with me....guess nothing's changed at all....hahaha....halfway throughout we were pretending to be the boss and the manager thinking of the fastest way to let carrefour generate loss and in the end close down.....even came up with slogans like "Carrefour bu dao bi, Wo men bu guan men!" thus every department we walk think of "eh manager this section i wan ppl buy 1 get 10 free and stuffs like free toyz and stupid shit....den got eng and chn ads...eng one its like "Go ahead and take for free! u dun care they dun care,guess wat? I(boss) also dun care!" den chn one its like "(banglas chanting "kui kui kui")den the manager jump out saying "shuo dao kui? Ah liang zui bang!" liang is the friend of mine....hehe...really managed to really relac myself for that day....had our sushi da can....den eventually went to wy house to play mj throughout the night....wahahaha....HOPE TO SEE YA GUYZ MORE OFTEN!!!

though when occupied i will forget all the sadness...but yet when late in the night....memories still catch up with me......cant forget....wo jiu shi wang bu liao....still missing her.....as usual cant do anything....xie xie ni gei wo de na xie hui yi, i will nvr forget it....

-=(COoLDay means a cold day when even human feelings inside me is frozen, thus COLD is in caps in the nick)=- alot ppl been asking me wat my nick means....

RuDeNEss!!

2006-11-01T17:54:00.000+08:00

Damn To those freaking stupid lorry drivers!!!....C'mon man!its red light so stop horning me to go!

was at a junction today...turning left but the light was on red and there was pedestrian crossing the road....den got this lorry behind me....the indian uncle horn and horn...wth?!?!i told him was red...even pointed to him the red light....KNN horn even more pointing finger at me....wah lau....no need so rude one lor....i know u own the road but i not going to risk my license juz because u asked me to go?!?!?!?WAKE UP UR BLOODY IDEA MAN!!!!!!

Zhi Shen Wo Yi Ge

2006-10-31T18:30:00.000+08:00

this song is by Zhou Bi Chang...a china version of jue dui superstar....

To those who dun know wat they did wrong which made someone leave....

你假装不看我
像不认识我
擦肩而过了
所以我
心一下疼了
泪一下落了
彷佛全世界
只剩我一个到处都是冷漠
只剩我一个谁还懂我在唱什么
你说过每一天你都会陪着我
我们牵过手
紧紧拥抱过你骗我
woo...
我心一下疼了
泪一下落了
彷佛全世界
只剩我一个到处都是冷漠
只剩我一个谁还懂我在唱什么
你说过每一天你都会陪着我
我们牵过手
紧紧拥抱过
你骗我
只剩我一个到处都是冷漠
只剩我一个谁还懂我在唱什么
如果我做错什么让你伤心了
用力惩罚我
怎样都好过
不理我

tricked!

2006-10-31T17:58:00.000+08:00

hmmm...seems like the rain these few days really like to play me out huh....i ride halfway start to rain...i die die dun wear raincoat, den when i stop to wear raincoat....start riding....the rain stop....wth!take off raincoat cont riding.....WTH START RAINING AGAIN...!!!!!!REALLY SO BAD LUCK MEH?!!?!?

hahah...thought no one will read me blog one wahaha....thanks for the comments ar guyz.....hehe....least got ppl reading wahaha.....

Oh wanna rectify something abt my other blog site...the webby add... its www.c0olday.blogspot.com< do note that the first O is actually the number zero....lol dunno how many ppl got it wrongly though......do take note

Cheers!!!!!

MiSsiNg HEr

2006-10-30T19:13:00.000+08:00

hmm.....these few days no much idea on wat to write....hehe.....anyway went to DXO on sat with few of my frens....lol though only few of them dance, was quite fun...least we did something diff over the weekend wahaha...went prawn fishing after that...haha within first 5 mins caught my first prawn!!!*PROUDZ*...another fren of mine was better wahaha he managed to catch a fish in a prawn pool....bizarre.....but sadly the net used to put all our catching dropped into the pool haiz....there goes our catch of the night*SADZ*...wahaha....

anyway dunno wats the prog this weekend....fren say go k-box....lol...i really having doubts...they dun sing one...scarly go there i solo concert....hahaha.....all pay to see me sing haha...but guess if no one sing then surely cancel one....

met an annoying driver on sat afternoon...wat a f**ker....i was riding on the left lane...he tailgated me.....WTH?!??!got so many lanes u wanna tailgate me??somemore left lane....wats more infuriating is that he actually HORNED me?!?!?!wat an A**...heres a gift ftrom me....(points middle finger). Some ppl surely need to go back to the driving school man obviously.....

hmmm.....its amazing how one cant be angry with one for long....to think that night i actually contacted *HIM*....its somehow feels better with him around....thks ed!!!

still something feels missing in my life...been staring into space more often den usual...almost got knocked today coz of daydreaming.....damn man...gotten learn to forget...dun wanna get killed for juz staring blankly....missing her....but cant do anything.....hao wu nai(feels helpless)....FANG SHOU! I MUZ LET GO!!!....

failurezz.....

2006-10-25T23:43:00.000+08:00

i am such a failure....am i really a failure in life?........i feel like a failure in life......someone tell me i am one big failure in life please.......am i really a failure??????? i can even accompllish the basics in life....haiz......guess i really failed.....nobody's perfect......i cant even be nobody....cause I AM A FAILURE.....wahaha!!!!!!!!!!

lousy day

2006-10-25T17:54:00.000+08:00

was rather bored today....work as usual...thinking as usual....thinking wat to do....thinking bout the future.....thinking whether will be...walking alone....or with someone i dear.....haiz....life juz return to its original colour of black and white.....so darn....wan play ball but seems like everyone busy nowadays....go play alone also sianzzz....stay home think of nonsense....WTH?!?!? wats going on here?!?!?!?!?

Forgotten

2006-10-22T22:33:00.000+08:00

i guess its not so easy to really forget after all.......shld be going out again wit her today one....haha......wat nonsense......guess....dreaming again lolz.....

Good day EVERYONE!!!

Cheers!!!!!

Shuo Bu Chu

2006-10-21T17:59:00.000+08:00

你是否忘记了
那时候的笑容
如果我已不在你心中
舍不得为什么
你说过
的以后
留下我能不能圆梦
那天空云很多
看不见你的轮廓
只剩下太多来不及说
（是我你好吗
没什么事
只是想知道你好不好
这是我最后一次打给你了
希望你好好照顾自己）
不说出的温柔
让你离开我
我以为你都会懂
等着你我才发现难过
很难说有没有
想念过你的手
可能是我不愿去触碰
不记得本来你
有没有擦口红
反正是我已经错过
那天空云很多
看不见你的轮廓
剩下太多来不及说
想哭的冲动
开始在失去以后
才等着你的手
拥抱我的寂寞
该说的时候
早应该大声的说
那种认真的沉默
弄巧成拙
不说出的温柔
让你离开我
我以为你都会懂
想哭的冲动
开始在失去以后
已经擦干了泪
为何还有点痛
该说的时候
早应该大声的说
爱已经留下缺口
剩下沉默
不说出的温柔
让你离开我
去拥抱你要的梦
别担心我
我会好好过

Moving on

2006-10-21T17:57:00.000+08:00

i juz dun understand......why izzit that ppl cant seem to really express themselves directly.....if ya dun wish that person to have the wrong idea, juz tell it to him straight, or do at least something to let him know that u do not wish of one's advancement and not juz giving the "i dun wish u to have the wrong idea giving u false hope, OH! i juz ignore u".....to some it might work.....but to some it could be very hurting esp when u noe that he has experienced this b4 thus not hoping anyone to juz simply disappearing and not letting him noe wat went wrong, leaving him to suffer and think in dispair wat the hell went wrong AGAIN......at least u gave him an explanation he'll definately understand, and hoping that u guyz can juz be frens NOTHING MORE...he noes where he stand, one who is so lowly classed in life being a failure all his life thus this is the kinda of results he always get....

perhaps my thinking is still too naive, thus all this childish thoughts....i thought i can simply move on...but its hard to let go....its hard to get hold....yet harder to let go of something precious to one...i guess for now my footsteps i see afterall is still juz me alone in the sand....when i see ppl in pairs i tend to think when will it be me???or izzit that one muz really have achievements only den will ppl start to notice ya....if its so i rather not have any achievement and find one who really appreciates me for who i am, for those who see one's achievements and be with that person is merely for wat he/she has and not wat he/she is.....its such a sad state.....
from now on...guess its time to move back alone in my tracks, being how i usually be, the childish,lame,stupid,nonsense me where ppl will nvr see me seriously and one who nvr thought of the future juz taking a "guo yi tian suan yi tian de shen huo" this is the kind of life i am.....this is who i am!

NOBODY will ever see me in such a sadden state as i had been giving my frens the last few days....i wanna apologise for being the way i am last night, to u guyz thanks for wat u did i noe u all trying to cheer me up...thanks to py for giving me advice,thnks to wy for letting me come to ur hse when i dun wanna stay home be alone, to hw u let me see wats going on btn me and her......to ed glad u still treat me as a fren and being there for me still when i was so down....t night, to u guyz thanks for wat u did i noe u all trying to cheer me up...thanks to py for giving me advice,thnks to wy for letting me come to ur hse when i dun wanna stay home be alone, to hw u let me see wats going on btn me and her......to ed glad u still treat me as a fren and being there for me still when i was so down....

wo bu yao zai qu xiang ren he shi le.....its so tiring....i now juz live for myself no one but myself .....not for her....not for S.....not for anything.....

TIME TO MOVE ON......

As Hazy

2006-10-21T17:52:00.001+08:00

today also feeling very down.....much way down den usual.....yesterday tried to call her...but she didnt ans...i left her a voicemail, hmmm.....wonder did she even hear it anot....after that juz feel so freaking depressed....wanted to go to fren's house but he on duty, amazingly i went to contact Mr cheng.....perhaps afterall his the only one who can give me really gd advice....besides i didnt wan anyone else to see me at that state, haha.....ride halfway suddenly vision blurred yet it wasnt raining....lol....the feeling is so strong that it hurtz juz to think that we will soon become nothing, not even frens at all.......i guess i juz have to face the ending of losing someone else again after 3 yrs....nothing has changed......NOTHING
heard this song yesterday by Lin Zhi Xuan the title is called Shu Le Ni, Ying Le Shi Jie You Ru He, its so true to me right now....

当我默默黯然回首
当我看尽潮起潮落
朦胧之间
仿佛我又看见你的脸
依然带着淡淡忧愁的双眼
忽隐忽现
就当全是一场梦
不必演是我的错
无奈的苦笑不必找牵强的理由
就让它日日夜夜刺痛我胸口
让我眼神没有焦点
泪水模糊我的视线
输了你赢了世界又如何
你曾渴望的梦
我想我永远不会懂
我失去你
赢了一切确依然如此冷清
有谁又能让我倾心
除了你
你我之间
难道没有剩下一点点
一点曾经刻骨铭心的眷恋
让你挂念
我只能说如今我已无处可躲
当我默默黯然回首
当我看尽潮起潮落

i wish to spent my ongoing every moment with her....very second every min, my ups and downs, like wise i also wished to be there for her every sec and mins....but i guess its not possible......once again i shouldnt had put my hopes so high......guess this is the hard fall i get as an end result....